Pulling the plug...

When I had the idea of doing a "countdown" blog, I never imagined it would make things as stressful as they've become!?  I suppose we are our own worse critics and I was afraid by not doing something big, I was letting myself down (you only hit big milestones once!)  But now, instead of motivating me, my 40 tasks have overcome my living and I need to step back, take a deep breath, and see what's going on around me as "enough".

I just ordered my new planner and as I was deciding which one to get, one stuck out above all the rest.  It said...

"Sometimes we're all too quick to countdown the days that we forget to make the days count."  It was a sign.  Time to pull the plug.  

I am so worried about checking off my list, that I'm not enjoying the days or the stuff going on around me!  My awesome big sis brought me my birthday present a couple weekends ago...starting on Aug. 21st (40 days til the big day), I get to open 1 gift each day!  How incredible is that...I get to celebrate the last 40 days of my 30's and make them count.  She gets it...(probably because she's older and wiser!)

I'm not giving up completely, however, I'll get done what I can and the rest will wait until the time is right.  Maybe I'll get the list done by the time I turn 41?  Or 50!?  No pressure...it's time to enjoy what I have in front of me and know I'm doing the best I can.  

For now, I choose to make these days count!!  See you September 29th!!

8 weeks to go...

I know it's been awhile and most of you have assumed I've given up...well, that's not the case!  I've been a busy little bee.  I'd like to say I have everything done or close to it, but I would be lying. :(  However, I have successfully crossed off 10 additional items that I feel pretty good about AND I have some other things that are a "work-in-progress".  

First off, I have to thank Dee K. for volunteering her time and services to help me out.  She literally walked through my house, listened to what I said, gave suggestions, asked questions and most importantly, got me headed in the right direction as far as updating my house, helping me with my 40 tasks and most importantly, giving me the confidence to just do it.  I can't thank you enough and can't wait for you to see some of the changes I've made!  That being said, I am no professional blogger and I apologize for the formatting of this post, as well as the horrible recording of progress!  I forgot to take "before" pix so here are some 1/2 way through pix! (I'll be sure to keep my day job)...

Before, sort of...

after...well, 1/2 way!

This is the master bedroom...I HATE MY ROOM.  That's really not an exaggeration.  Every time I enter the room, I gag a little.  I changed it up a couple years ago by adding the purple you see in the 2nd pix.  Previously, that was a nice shade of diarrhea yellow which was carried into the bedroom from the bathroom.  Nice...NOT!  The change was not enough...I was still sad.  The green you see in the 2nd pix is actually just the primer, but soon enough, it will be a lovely, calm, green color, called Gleeful, and it will bring me much glee (as soon as I get over my fear of heights and finish off the high walls)  Even with the primer up, I smile a little more when I go to bed and wake up in the morning and a smile is much nicer than gagging!

We also decided to get a new mattress for the 1st time (ever) in our marriage...HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO US!  It was waaayy over the 8 years you're supposed to keep your mattress...does everyone really change their mattresses that often?  We're still getting used to it, and I certainly didn't wake up feeling like a new woman the next day...darn it...but things are improving.  So...the bedroom is coming along and will make a HUGE difference once it's done.

Also in the news...

1. We went through our bookshelves and successfully took 3 boxes of books to Half Price Books for a little pocket change, as well as donated a bunch to local charities. Now there is lots of room for some future changes to my "office".
2. With the help of my wonderful hubby and his persistence to have me clean out one of the storage rooms...I have now gone through the dozens  a variety of tubs of children's clothing, purses (had no idea that's where hubby had put all my bags), etc.. and THIS is what my dining room table looks like as of today...

Yes, those are piles of tagged and barcoded boys clothing all ready and waiting for selling at our local Little Treasures Sale (which thankfully, happens to be in 2 weeks!).  I also sent a huge bag off to ThredUp and I have 3 even bigger bags ready to be donated!  YAY!  It feels good and now it's so much easier to access the clothes the boys can still wear.

   3.  I have also moved some pictures around to different places and even added a few new ones...

Something I saw on Pinterest

A great one of the boys and Cincy!

These are just a few and I also have canvases in the works of the boys that will go in our stairwell...never thought of that??!!  Thanks Dee!

I've kept up the bills, my toes, and even dr. appts!  (*note to self:  Make a hair appt), but I would be lying again if I said I was feeling good about my progress.  I'm definitely feeling the pressure to get more done and quick!  I've gone out with girlfriends, had more "date nights" lately than all the ones put together over the past 10 years, and tried to stay positive, think good thoughts, do great things...but the truth is in 8 weeks I'm turning 40 whether this list is complete or not.  I'm putting my nose to the grindstone and going full speed ahead at this point, but I may need to consider what my great friend, Steph said, "maybe you should take the entire year of being 40 to get all this done?"  

Steph, perhaps you're right...

For now, I'm off to bed because tomorrow I have to workout, make a hair appt., see the dr., paint the bedroom, find more clothes/toys to sell, organize pix, pay bills, clean my desk, start on my DIY wrapping station, organize the pantry, go through some pix AND...find my soul of acceptance!!!

Namaste.

Need help...

I've had some very nice people/friends come up and ask me, 
"... how are you doing on your list"
"...I haven't seen you post anything lately??"
"...show me your toes"

All true stories and I love it because what's the point of having a public blog to keep you accountable if you aren't really going to do anything, right?!  Right...so, I'm here today to ask for some help getting motivated.  It's not that I don't want to get everything done (or even 1-2 things) but I've realized lately that I do better under a deadline.  And since trying to get all these done when I only have a week or two before the big day is just going to be impossible.  So, if you're reading this (1st of all, "thank you" for sticking by me) throw out an item number that you'd like to see me get done.  That's all...I'm making an imaginary deadline and hoping with the pressure of someone saying "get it done", it will actually get done and I can finally cross another one off!

Although, I DID put together my exercise binder and it looks pretty good.  Unfortunately, just putting something together doesn't automatically mean I'm doing what's inside!  Ugh...

Also, just today, I talked on the phone (yep, goin' old school) with my good friend from NM (well, WI but I know her from school in NM).  Thanks Nicole for calling...always good to catch up!  I also corresponded by email with a long lost friend from middle school and cleared the air...something I've been meaning to do for awhile and finally decided today was the day.  She celebrates the big 4-0 tomorrow and I wanted her to know I was thinking about her and celebrating with her (since mine is still SO far away!)  Love ya, Kris!!

Hubby and I are celebrating our 16th anniversary Friday and I'm surprising him with an overnight (not going to say where just in case he decides to read this).  I'm excited to have some time with him and to get outta here, even if it's just for 1 night.  Thanks to my good friend, Kathy H. for agreeing to have all 3 boys at her house for the night!!  Have fun!!

Alright...I'm going to cross those off and I'll be waiting to hear what I need to do next!  I'll take the 1st person who responds...

Let the suggestions begin!!

P.S.:  Here's my exercise binder (#35) done and complete!  Now, I just have to do what's in it and I'll cross off #19!!

** Please look back to post called, "Complete Overhaul" to see entire, updated list!**

The rest of the list...

Here we go...I finished the last 8 items!!  Yay!  Or maybe that should be Oy vey?!  I'm happy with the final outcome and I believe MOST of them are S.M.A.R.T. (let me know Rick A.)  Once again, it's a big list and now I have even less time, but that's ok.  I've always been one of those people that did better under the pressure of a deadline (YIKES...I'm actually sweating already).  I've added them to the original list...  

Here's to counting down and crossing out!!

32.  Organize and label my pantry.  I was so thankful when we moved here and I had a pantry.  That may sound crazy because most people take them for granted.  I, however, have NEVER had a pantry before...not in Chicago, not in Georgia, not in New Mexico!  SO...I have this great pantry now (although would love it more if it was a tad bigger) but I have never been able to keep it organized.  You all know those pix on blogs that show an awesome makeover pantry (or is it just me that drools over those?!)  I'm going to do it.  Maybe not all color coordinated or labeled all pretty, but gosh golly, when I open the door, I'm going to be able to see what I have and get out what I need without anything falling on my head or dropping out of the container!

33.  Re-do mud room closet...a couple years ago, I made the (huge) closet in my mud room into a craft/art supplies storage space (don't be jealous yet).  But to this day, I can't find a thing and the boys keep ruining it!  Obviously, I didn't do a good job.  

34.  Create a wrapping paper/accessories place in the basement...again, I have such good intentions when I see things on Pinterest or I see a neighbors entire wrapping paper closet all pretty and organized, but I don't quite get 'er done?!  I hate going out and buying bows or ribbon or God forbid I buy another sheet of tissue paper...I swear I could open my own party store!  

35.  Create an exercise binder...since I'm not allowed to bootcamp until July and even then I'm not sure I'll be 100%, I want to create a binder of exercises I can do at home.  Not just until July, but for those days I can't make it to bootcamp or for days I want to do a little extra (probably necessary if I'm going to lose those 40 lbs)  Thanks to Pinterest, this shouldn't be too difficult AND it will help me cross out #19!! 

36.  Get the boys' rooms done.  Their bedrooms are always one of the 1st things we do when we move into a new house (Just helps make them feel like it's theirs) but since apparently our boys change their views a lot (doesn't everyone's kiddos switch rooms like every other month??) AND I think hope they are finally settled where they want to be, it's time to arrange, paint, organize, hang curtains so they actually like  love where they sleep!  Unfortunately, this means it's time for my amazing jungle mural to be painted over. :(

37.  Plant a garden...nothing huge, but we have been saying since we moved here (5 years ago) that we wanted to start a vegetable garden.  We have a great place to do it, I have 4 strapping boys who love to do manual labor, and veggie eaters to enjoy it!  This is the year...not just tomatoes (we've done that in our topsy tomato) but real stuff, in the ground, that you can eat.  Who wants to help me??

38.  Have a garbage garage sale...actually, I have really great stuff which is why I hate giving it away at garage sales!  Those people can be relentless!  The hubby is great at this because he sees the value of it being GONE and I see the $$$ being lost as it's given away! But, it's time to get rid of the junk in our storage rooms and make room for more priceless treasures!

39.  I feel like this is Letterman's Top 10 list and this should be the best one??!! (Right, #2 was always better than #1)  So...Try something NEW!  Maybe not a surprise here, but I don't really like to try new things.  I'm not the risk-taker I used to be, but this seems to be a good time in my life to try something I've never done or something I haven't done in a really long time.  There's no way I'm going skydiving or bungee jumping, but maybe I can find something that will get my blood bubbling without sending me to the E.R!!  Plus, I want the boys to think I'm a "cool Mom".

Complete Overhaul!

Desperate times demand desperate measures...it's time for a change!!  Summer is right around the corner (like next week for us!) which means I have...(insert drumroll)...
125 days until I turn 40!  Please don't get me wrong...this isn't a day I'm dreading.  I'm really not worried about turning 40 or starting a mid-life crisis and feeling like my life is over...it's more about making it memorable and starting this 2nd half of my life in a way that I'm proud of and looking forward to doing it MY WAY!!  So...that's where my "list of 40 things" came from and it was a good way for me to get some things done.  Well, it's been hard....not because the tasks are difficult (some are down right easy) but more because as a wise man (Thank you, Rick A.) once said to me..."You're goals aren't S.M.A.R.T."  

S= Specific
M=Measurable
A= Achievable
R=Relevant
T=Time-Bound

And he was right...I love that my goals make me accountable for doing those things that are important to me or giving me tasks that I've been trying to get done for years.  BUT, I wasn't feeling very successful because I couldn't cross many off since they were "works-in-progress" or "on-going"!  Everyone wants to feel successful and for all my friends out there who are "list-makers" and even better, "list crosser-offers"...there's nothing that beats having a list with EVERYTHING crossed out!  So...I'm changing things up a bit  A LOT.  

New look, S.M.A.R.T. goals= SUCCESSFUL and HAPPY 40-year-old ME!!

Am I starting over?  NO.  Did I say my list was a "work-in-progress"?  YES.  Are my friends helping me?  YES.  Am I giving up because I can't do it?  NO.  

Some of the "40 things to do before 40" will remain and some will be worded differently.  Some I'm going to declare as DONE and others will change completely.  I'm changing the look because a wise woman (thank you Lori G.) said it was impossible to read my blog on her phone!  Another wise woman (thank you Steph A.) said I should consider giving myself the entire YEAR I turn 40 to get everything done...Hmmmm.  I'm considering this and will see how things go in 125 days.  I LOVE feedback!!  I especially love that people are reading this and asking me how it's going.  It does keep me honest and keeps my "list" always in the front of my mind (no matter how annoying this can actually is-who's idea was it to go public???)  So, THANK YOU to everyone and keep the positive vibes coming my way!!  I need all the help I can get...

Oh yeah...guess I should post my NEW and IMPROVED "40 things to do"...

1. Lose 40 lbs...keeping this one.  I know it's big (and a little cliche) but I have to try.  This may take me until the end of my 40th year!

2.  Use up all those gifts cards I've been saving all these years.

3.  Fix and print out Aiden's blog

4.  Put together all 3 boy's baby books...yep, gonna happen.  

5.  Keep my toes looking pretty, whether professionally or self-done.  No one likes to look at feet that appear to have been in hiding for the past year.

So far so good...all S.M.A.R.T!!

6.  Clean up/organize my desk weekly.  Honestly, who can get anything done when you can't even find the top of your desk?? 

7.  PAY BILLS ON TIME...shouldn't be difficult if the desk is clean and the bills are organized.

8.  Talk to far away friends more than 1x/year...I know this isn't "measurable" but it's really something that takes reminding and some effort.  I hate it, but with social media, it has made keeping in touch with people easier, but less personal.  I'm going for personal here...phone calls, letters, even email seems more personal than FB these days!

9.  Keep my parents/in-laws in the "loop" of what's going on...boy's activities, summer plans, etc...should be able to do weekly or at least once/month.

10.  Go out with girlfriends...put myself out there!  Plan a girl's night out, take part in a social event, suggest a movie, etc.  I need help with this because let's face it, my pi's are on around 8:30 and I'm in for the night.  PLEASE...HELP ME!!  I'm turning 40 NOT 80!

11.  Go out with my husband...this is one task we've actually gotten into doing and enjoy it.  We usually meet for lunch sometime during the week.  With summer, this will be more challenging, but we can do it!

12.  Pursue new job opportunities and/or look into a new job.  With all 3 boys begin in school full-time next year, I intend on having some down time.  Should probably consider filling that time with something productive...we'll see.

13.  Cancel any credit cards we don't use...time to slim down the wallet.  This one I have completed and it feels good.  I'm actually considering closing my Kohl's account!  YIKES!  Have I created a monster???

14.  Put pictures on the walls.  We'll be in this house 5 years next month...guess it's time to make it a home.  Anyone an interior decorator??

15.  Make all the doctor appts. and follow-ups you're supposed to do when you're an adult.  Like the lovely OBGYN annual, dentist 2x/year, annual physical (when was the last time that was done??) vision, blah, blah, blah...I'm actually re-thinking this task as it's cost me the equivalent of about 3 international vacations and I know I'm not any healthier!!  But, at this point, I might as well finish it off...GO BIG or GO HOME!

16.  Get a family picture taken...gotta have something to hang on the wall.  

17.  Finish Connor's tattoo.  

18.  Help the hubby with more chores.  Again not so measurable, but I have seen a difference since I started helping out more.  Pretty sure he likes the help and Lord knows there's not enough cleaning that can go on in this house as long as there are 3 boys that live here!

19.  Workout.  Since I'm out of bootcamp for a little while, I really have to make a point to do something.  No more feeling sorry for myself...if I can't do any type of impact exercise, I'm going to work my arms, core, back, etc...until they are ripped!  Ok, a bit of an exaggeration, but I'm including it on my list so it MUST be done.  Yep, I'll be the one lifting all 3 of the boys out of the swimming pool at the end of the summer!

20.  Make an appt with my hair stylist when I should, not once it becomes absolutely necessary!  I think I've learned (since getting better with this over the past couple months) that I need to go about every 6 weeks.  That is a huge difference from my previous wait time of 3-4 months!

21.  Go shopping for me!  Ok, I admit it, this is really hard for me.  I HATE shopping and HATE buying clothes when I'm unhappy about my weight (which is pretty much all the time).  I tell people all the time, though, you have to wear clothes!  I'm down to wearing my "fat clothes" right now and I know it doesn't help to see myself in these baggy, old      t-shirts and yoga pants...I need to bite the bullet and preach to myself.  No one wants to see my wearing the same old clothes day after day.  Gotta wear clothes...(really wish someone would just do it for me!)

22. Put my jewelry in the jewelry box that's sitting on top of my dresser.  That also includes going through my jewelry and getting rid of the things I don't wear (like the necklace my middle school boyfriend gave me-yes, I'm serious)  I even have an earring holder that I made (thank you Pinterest) that is hanging on the wall...EMPTY!!

23.  Go through the abundance of boy's clothing...donate, throw out, organize and LABEL tubs to make seasonal changes and fining specific items easier.  I was really good at this when I have 1 kid...just saying!

24.  Buy a bike.  I have always loved riding (hubby and I even did a 62-mile race once) and it's great for the mind and body.  Especially good with a bum foot!  

25.  Organize my pictures.  I have more pictures out there in the "cloud" and "internet space" than I'd like to admit (somewhere in the range of 5000-7000) in addition to a full external drive, Picture people memory sticks, cd's, laptop hard drives...do I even need to continue.  Too many pictures, not enough editing, and absolutely NO organization.  Sad face.  I LOVE taking pix but hate not being able to find what I'm looking for.  I also have picture boxes filled with actual photos.  This task seems impossible to complete...

26.  Do random acts of kindness.  I know, I know...not measurable, but so important!  Makes you feel good and I want the boys to see how something small can have a big impact on someone else.  Keeping this one.

27.  Use all the Groupons/Living Social deals I have spent money on...such good deals unless you forget about them or let them expire.  This also includes finding all those great deals and calling to make sure you can still use them...oy vey!

28.  Go through the bookshelves.  Donate, sell, get rid of the books we don't use, want, or need.  

29.  Re-do my bedroom.  I HATE my bedroom.  Love nothing about it.  But, also have no ideas on how to make it better...HELP!  This may be one of those that gets done during my 40th year??!!  Need LOTS of help, professionals, money, ideas, interior decorator!?

30.  Read more books.  I've been reading a series with a girlfriend (thanks Anna H.) and even took part in a Lenten book club (Thanks Debbie F.)  I'm enjoying this task and consider it complete!

31.  Almost forgot...Get a blog up and running about how excited I am to turn "40"!

32.  Organize and label my pantry.  I was so thankful when we moved here and I had a pantry.  That may sound crazy because most people take them for granted.  I, however, have NEVER had a pantry before...not in Chicago, not in Georgia, not in New Mexico!  SO...I have this great pantry now (although would love it more if it was a tad bigger) but I have never been able to keep it organized.  You all know those pix on blogs that show an awesome makeover pantry (or is it just me that drools over those?!)  I'm going to do it.  Maybe not all color coordinated or labeled all pretty, but gosh golly, when I open the door, I'm going to be able to see what I have and get out what I need without anything falling on my head or dropping out of the container!

33.  Re-do mud room closet...a couple years ago, I made the (huge) closet in my mud room into a craft/art supplies storage space (don't be jealous yet).  But to this day, I can't find a thing and the boys keep ruining it!  Obviously, I didn't do a good job.  

34.  Create a wrapping paper/accessories place in the basement...again, I have such good intentions when I see things on Pinterest or I see a neighbors entire wrapping paper closet all pretty and organized, but I don't quite get 'er done?!  I hate going out and buying bows or ribbon or God forbid I buy another sheet of tissue paper...I swear I could open my own party store!  

35.  Create an exercise binder...since I'm not allowed to bootcamp until July and even then I'm not sure I'll be 100%, I want to create a binder of exercises I can do at home.  Not just until July, but for those days I can't make it to bootcamp or for days I want to do a little extra (probably necessary if I'm going to lose those 40 lbs)  Thanks to Pinterest, this shouldn't be too difficult AND it will help me cross out #19!! 

36.  Get the boys' rooms done.  Their bedrooms are always one of the 1st things we do when we move into a new house (Just helps make them feel like it's theirs) but since apparently our boys change their views a lot (doesn't everyone's kiddos switch rooms like every other month??) AND I think hope they are finally settled where they want to be, it's time to arrange, paint, organize, hang curtains so they actually like  love where they sleep!  Unfortunately, this means it's time for my amazing jungle mural to be painted over. :(

37.  Plant a garden...nothing huge, but we have been saying since we moved here (5 years ago) that we wanted to start a vegetable garden.  We have a great place to do it, I have 4 strapping boys who love to do manual labor, and veggie eaters to enjoy it!  This is the year...not just tomatoes (we've done that in our topsy tomato) but real stuff, in the ground, that you can eat.  Who wants to help me??

38.  Have a garbage garage sale...actually, I have really great stuff which is why I hate giving it away at garage sales!  Those people can be relentless!  The hubby is great at this because he sees the value of it being GONE and I see the $$$ being lost as it's given away! But, it's time to get rid of the junk in our storage rooms and make room for more priceless treasures!

39.  I feel like this is Letterman's Top 10 list and this should be the best one??!! (Right, #2 was always better than #1)  So...Try something NEW!  Maybe not a surprise here, but I don't really like to try new things.  I'm not the risk-taker I used to be, but this seems to be a good time in my life to try something I've never done or something I haven't done in a really long time.  There's no way I'm going skydiving or bungee jumping, but maybe I can find something that will get my blood bubbling without sending me to the E.R!!  Plus, I want the boys to think I'm a "cool Mom".

40.  Always remember what that yoga instructor said, "...look deep inside and smile at your soul of acceptance..."  Good stuff.

There you have it, folks...as you can see, I'm 8 tasks short.  I took out the tasks that were never going to be completed because they were ongoing and hard to measure.  I have to put some thought into replacing those with better, more S.M.A.R.T. goals.  I've kept a few of the old "ongoing" ones that I think are important enough to keep.  I guess I'll mark those off on September 29, 2014.  

For now, I'll take the 4 that are done and smile...a little is better than none, right??  Plus, I get to think of 8 more things to add to my special list.  Hmmm, I bet the hubby could help me!!  Hoping I can start crossing things off sooner than later and start feeling good about what's to come!! 

40 and FALLING...

...falling apart that is!  Or maybe it should be, "40 and FAILING", as in my body is failing me!  I've been told that weird things start happening to your body in your 40's, but could it be just my luck that it's happening as I turn 40??  I have just about 150 days until the big 4-0 and instead of feeling confident that 40 is the new 20, I'm hoping I'm not using a walker!!

So it's been about 10 weeks since I starting seeing my dr. about my plantar fascitis.  After 10 rounds (?) of shots and 8 weeks of PT, I graduated from therapy (even got a $500  free 
t-shirt) and started back full-time at bootcamp.  Then on a sunny Monday while doing some band work (I <3 bands, seriously) I heard and felt a subtle <<pop>> in my right foot.  Thankfully, I was scheduled to see the dr that day and she wrapped me up tightly and said best case scenario was that I tore the fascia and I'll have some relief (yay me!) in a few days. Took it easy and miraculously I have been pretty much pain-free!  So you're probably thinking everything sounds like it's getting better??  I thought so too!  Then, this past Monday, I was at bootcamp again and joking that I should try and "tear the other foot and I'll be cured!" Ha...well, I was skipping along (literally, we were skipping) and this time there was no subtle anything, it was an explosion (I may be exaggerating a bit) and I went down.  Boom...I open my eyes to find people looking down at me and asking if I'm alright.  Of course, I say I am and hobble back to my spot.  Well, it didn't get any better and this time I couldn't even put any weight on it.  Back to the dr I went (ch-ching), another x-ray is done (ch-ching), an ultrasound is done (ch-ching) and I end up coming home with this...
  

Ch-ching!  And oh, so sexy!  

At least my toes were pretty and painted when it happened (yay me!)

Also, remember that goal to make all the appts. you're supposed to make as a responsible adult??  Great goal...so I had a tooth that needed a filling, went back and now the dentist actually recommended a crown (totally NOT like a queen crown) but went for my temporary and was taking ibuprofen for days because it's my last molar and as the dentist said, "it's a tough one to get to".  Ugh...well, tonight, just 5 days away from my appt., the stupid temporary crown pops off!  Seriously?!  What's next...my tattoos start drooping or moving?? (wait, that may or may not have already happened?!  Wouldn't you like to know!  Mums the word Anna and Debbie!)  

I guess the lesson here is even though my body may slowly be disintegrating, my mind is as sharp as a         ???  What's that saying??  Anyway, I am still working on my goals, although I seem to be accumulating gift cards again??  WHAT??  BUT, my hubby and I are having lunch together more and we even had a date night this past weekend.  Dinner at one of our favorites, PF Changs, then an impromptu miniature golf outing (wasn't bedtime for the kids yet so we COULDN'T go home!)  Here we are among the high school students and families with young children...

It was fun and I only lost by 3 strokes...my personal best!  THAT was a good day.

Now if only I had more good days than bad  not so good days!!

Always a work-in-progress...

Better get my toothless (and very sensitive) mouth and robot-leg to bed!!

Slow and steady wins the race!!

I'm making progress...slow and in very little steps, but forward movement has been made!  So much so that I get to use my favorite key in order to cross off my list...are you ready??  

1.  Lose  Gain 40 lbs (I know this is a big one and quite cliche, but this is the time because from what all my friends say it only gets harder!) I'm going the wrong way with this one, but I still have time.
2. Use up all those gift cards I've been saving all these years Down to single digits!
3. Fix and print out Aiden's blog (I believe my last post was when he was entering preschool and he's not 1/2 through Kdg...I've got some work to do)
4. Speaking of work to do...I have 3 baby books that haven't even been started (yes, I'm a little embarrassed about that fact, but I have everything together so it shouldn't take long, right?)
5. Keep my toes pretty...whether that means getting a pedicure or doing my own nails, I'm not sure yet, but seriously women, we NEED to have pretty toes.  No one likes to look at gross feet...no one. Yep...was at a painting party and the host asked me to show my toes...they were gorgeous!!!  This one I'm pretty good at keeping so far!
6. Kiss my boys good night, every night, no matter what.  Honestly, I do this for the most part, but occasionally things get in the way and it may not happen.  Parents really need to do this...there is just something about seeing your kids sleeping that melts my heart even after a bad day.  What's the saying, "Always kiss me goodnight"...there really should be one that says, "kiss your kids nightly".
7. Clean up/organize my desk weekly.  I am horrible about piling things up for them to never be seen again (until I get the bill statement that says I have a late fee and I get all pissed because it's right there on my desk...somewhere.
8. PAY BILLS ON TIME. (no need to explain and really shouldn't be difficult) 1 late bill last month...boo!  
9. Be in bed by 11pm during the week.  That means in bed ready to fall asleep, not turning on the hours of Chicago Fire or Grey's Anatomy I have dvr'd and can't seem to catch up on. Not happening lately.
10. Talk to far away friends more than 1x/year (or less in some cases).  And that doesn't mean a message on FB or a text because I need something.  Really reaching out and talking to friends on the phone, letting them know they mean something. Have a visit planned with a great friend next month AND I just heard from my best high school friend and we're hoping to connect sooner than later!
11. Fix relationships that need fixing...make amends with those who are worth it.
12. Call my Mom and Dad at least 1x/week...usually done, but not always.  Cherish the ones you love!
13. Keep my in-laws in the loop about what we're doing, the boys' activities, plans for visits, etc...
14. Go out with girlfriends more often...this is actually a tough one for me.  Anyone that may be reading this, please help me!! I painted (thank you Anna!)...no pix because if I post, I may offend someone!
15. Go out with my husband at least 1x/month.  We deserve that, right?! Luke and I have been meeting for lunch...it's great to catch up and a nice break during the day.
16. Pursue a new job or that career change I've always thought about (no...not the truck driver or librarian!)
17. Cancel any credit cards we don't use...time to slim down the wallet. This feels good!
18. Put pictures up on the walls.  Believe it or not, I tend to hesitate on this just in case we end up moving again.  After more than 4 years here in KY, I think it's safe to start putting up pictures. 
19. Make all the doctor appts. and follow-ups you're supposed to do when you're an adult.  Like that lovely OBGYN annual, dentist 2x/year, annual physical (when was the last time you did that!?) vision, and whatever other doctor is necessary as you get to be "my age".  
20. Run...just run.  Whether it's races or for fun, I need to pick up running again.  It's good for your body (remember I have 40 lbs to lose) and good for the mind.
21. Almost forgot...get a blog up and running!  And continue blogging until 9/29/14! (I've already started this one...yay me!)
22. Get a family picture taken...one that is acceptable and where we all look amazing!  Got have something great to hang on the wall!
23. Finish Connor's tattoo.  The hubby and I got our son's footprints tattooed on our wrists for our 15th anniversary (and 5 years after losing Connor)...I know, so romantic!  I wasn't sure exactly what I wanted (and still don't) but know it's not complete yet.
24. Help my husband with the chores.  Ladies, don't get jealous, but I have one of those incredible husbands that enjoys doing laundry, cleaning and dishes (awesome, right?!)  Unfortunately, this has made me become quite the slacker in this department.  I promise to help out more around the house (of course, in my spare time :))
25. Go to yoga 1x/week.  I've just recently started doing yoga and surprisingly I LOVE IT! I feel so good afterward and the breathing alone helps me get through the day a little calmer.  Although, this may be tough...it's expensive!
26. Really listen to my kids when they are talking to me.  So much of our days are running around going to and from places, dropping off, picking up.  I cherish the times I can sit down with any of the boys and "catch up".  I guess the goal would be to slow down and enjoy any conversations I can get with the boys.
27. Speaking of slowing down, how about stopping to smell the roses.  With this huge list, I'm going to be even busier than normal!  But, sometimes everything else can be put on hold...nothing is going to happen if the dishes are still in the sink or the floor doesn't get vacuumed right away.  I'm going to STOP, and appreciate what I have at least, once daily.
28. Make an appt with my hair stylist when I should, not once it becomes necessary!  I'm not even sure how often I'm supposed to go??  But I'm certain waiting 3-4 months is too long.  Stephen, my stylist, was shocked when I made an appt last month!
29. Go shopping for me!  For most people, this probably isn't difficult, but I HATE shopping for myself and rarely do it.  Honestly, I need someone to help me with this...I've realized over the past year that I THINK I have style but I really don't.  Right now, my "style" consists of yoga pants and t-shirts and jeans on a good day.  So sad...wish Clinton and Stacy were still doing What Not To Wear!
30. Keep up my skin routine.  I was lucky enough to be treated to an amazing facial by my MIL over Christmas (Nancy, now I know why you always have such incredible skin!)  I came home with great products and would love to continue taking care of my skin.  I may be getting older, but I don't have to look it, right!?
31. Put my jewelry in the jewelry box that's sitting on top of my dresser!  Sounds silly, but that would also mean going through my jewelry and getting rid of the things I don't wear (like the necklace my middle school boyfriend gave me!)  I even have an earring holder that I made (thanks to Pinterest) that is hanging on the wall...empty! DONE!  Kind of nice having a clean dresser top!
32. Go through the abundance of boys clothing...donate, throw out, organize and LABEL tubs to make finding them easier!  I was really good at this when I had 1 kid...just saying.
33. Buy a bike.  One of the things on my "life" bucket list (not sure I can add it to this list) is to do a mini-triathalon.  I can swim, I can bike, but the running scared me in the past.  I think I have that down now.  Only problem is, my husband thought I should let my oldest son should get my mountain bike since he was big enough for it and needed a bike.  So, he stripped it down (grips, pedal straps, etc...) and now I have no bike.  I love to ride but I need a bike...  oh yeah!  I BOUGHT A BIKE!!  Thanks Uncle Sam!
34. Take more pictures...with an actual camera, not my phone.  I'm not saying my phone hasn't taken some incredible pictures, but I have a really nice camera and it takes great pictures!  Also, videos...again, we took videos all the time with our first kid.  Where is that video camera anyway???  I take it out for recitals and such, but really need to do it more often and also figure out a way to actually watch them once we record something!
35. Do random acts of kindness!  I want my boys to see that kindness still exists and is important.  Plus, girls dig it!    
36. Use all the Groupons/Living Social deals I have spent money on...such good deals, unless you forget about them or let them expire...Curse you Groupon and Living Social!
37. Go through our bookshelves...get rid of books we don't use, need or want.  Put books on there that are helpful, special or help make it seem that we are a family of great readers!!
38. Re-do my bedroom.  You know how they say the Master bedroom should be a serene, calm getaway...mine is the opposite of that!  I hate my bedroom and I definitely do not enjoy going in there at the end of a long, stressful day.  I may need to call the professionals for some help with this one.
39. READ MORE BOOKS...I have never really enjoyed reading, mostly because whenever I start a book, by the time I pick it up again I've forgotten what I already read!  I end up reading the same chapters over and over!  I do appreciate a good book though, so feel free to comment on any good reads you've had lately!! Just finished reading "The Shack" with a couple of girlfriends for Lent...then we went to lunch to discuss (questions and all).  Now I'm reading "Divergent"!!
40. While I was at yoga last week, the instructor said something that I loved and made me really think.  She said something like this, "...look deep inside and smile at your soul of acceptance..."  I thought this was really beautiful.  Even if I don't finish the other 39 things I have listed here, this one I need to do!  Everyone should... I'm not gonna lie...this is tough when the scale is moving in the wrong direction...Keep trying!

So, 3 complete cross outs...sounded better in my head?!  Well, it's something and the ones that are on-going, I'm doing pretty well at accomplishing.  Just don't want to jinx it and call it done YET.  It's a process...still working on my "list" and still working on "me".  Off to bed (it's 10:32pm) plus this week is my older boy's spring break and I have to be on my toes with activities planned and patience in bulk!  

Super Cool bike, right???  Not crazy about the white seat but really excited to get out there and ride (something I can do without my feet killing me!)...just me and the open road.

Feels so good...

Sing it with me...You remember that song by John Mellencamp...ok, so it was actually "Hurts so good", but it does say "feels so good" somewhere in there too!  I had some extra time on Friday so I decided to sit down and have some fun...

Yes, and fun I had...those are various credit cards that have been cancelled!  I swear it was therapeutic to cut those babies up PLUS, I'm pretty sure, closing accounts and cutting up the cards actually makes you save money!  My wallet closes nicely now and those poor sales people won't have to wait for me to find the specific card of choice.  AND, I can just use our visa which gets us points for marvelous gifts, travel and more (so I hear)!!  I did keep a few of the basics like Target, Old Navy and Kohl's...but I may be closer to cutting them up too!!

Now to the even better feeling...actually crossing something off this list (see #17)!  I'll update a few as well...making progress but still a looonngg way to go!! Isn't that a song, too???

1. Lose 40 lbs (I know this is a big one and quite cliche, but this is the time because from what all my friends say it only gets harder!)  I'm actually going in the wrong direction...oops!
2. Use up all those gift cards I've been saving all these years
3. Fix and print out Aiden's blog (I believe my last post was when he was entering preschool and he's not 1/2 through Kdg...I've got some work to do)
4. Speaking of work to do...I have 3 baby books that haven't even been started (yes, I'm a little embarrassed about that fact, but I have everything together so it shouldn't take long, right?)
5. Keep my toes pretty...whether that means getting a pedicure or doing my own nails, I'm not sure yet, but seriously women, we NEED to have pretty toes.  No one likes to look at gross feet...no one. On my way with this one...pedicure #1  Pedicure #2 CHECK!
6. Kiss my boys good night, every night, no matter what.  Honestly, I do this for the most part, but occasionally things get in the way and it may not happen.  Parents really need to do this...there is just something about seeing your kids sleeping that melts my heart even after a bad day.  What's the saying, "Always kiss me goodnight"...there really should be one that says, "kiss your kids nightly". Yes, still doing every night!
7. Clean up/organize my desk weekly.  I am horrible about piling things up for them to never be seen again (until I get the bill statement that says I have a late fee and I get all pissed because it's right there on my desk...somewhere.
8. PAY BILLS ON TIME. (no need to explain and really shouldn't be difficult)  No late bills in February!
9. Be in bed by 11pm during the week.  That means in bed ready to fall asleep, not turning on the hours of Chicago Fire or Grey's Anatomy I have dvr'd and can't seem to catch up on.  Not so good on this one lately! <yawn>
10. Talk to far away friends more than 1x/year (or less in some cases).  And that doesn't mean a message on FB or a text because I need something.  Really reaching out and talking to friends on the phone, letting them know they mean something. 
11. Fix relationships that need fixing...make amends with those who are worth it.
12. Call my Mom and Dad at least 1x/week...usually done, but not always.  Cherish the ones you love!
13. Keep my in-laws in the loop about what we're doing, the boys' activities, plans for visits, etc... Yep
14. Go out with girlfriends more often...this is actually a tough one for me.  Anyone that may be reading this, please help me!!  Thanks Debbie and Anna for an almost 4 hour lunch...just what the dr. ordered!!
15. Go out with my husband at least 1x/month.  We deserve that, right?! We had lunch and looked at new cars...oooooo!
16. Pursue a new job or that career change I've always thought about (no...not the truck driver or librarian!)
17. Cancel any credit cards we don't use...time to slim down the wallet.  DONE!!
18. Put pictures up on the walls.  Believe it or not, I tend to hesitate on this just in case we end up moving again.  After more than 4 years here in KY, I think it's safe to start putting up pictures. 
19. Make all the doctor appts. and follow-ups you're supposed to do when you're an adult.  Like that lovely OBGYN annual, dentist 2x/year, annual physical (when was the last time you did that!?) vision, and whatever other doctor is necessary as you get to be "my age".  Dentist...CHECK!  Podiatrist...CHECK several times, Physical therapy...check!  I may be going overboard on this one!!
20. Run...just run.  Whether it's races or for fun, I need to pick up running again.  It's good for your body (remember I have 40 lbs to lose) and good for the mind.
21. Almost forgot...get a blog up and running!  And continue blogging until 9/29/14! (I've already started this one...yay me!)
22. Get a family picture taken...one that is acceptable and where we all look amazing!  Got have something great to hang on the wall!
23. Finish Connor's tattoo.  The hubby and I got our son's footprints tattooed on our wrists for our 15th anniversary (and 5 years after losing Connor)...I know, so romantic!  I wasn't sure exactly what I wanted (and still don't) but know it's not complete yet.
24. Help my husband with the chores.  Ladies, don't get jealous, but I have one of those incredible husbands that enjoys doing laundry, cleaning and dishes (awesome, right?!)  Unfortunately, this has made me become quite the slacker in this department.  I promise to help out more around the house (of course, in my spare time :))  I'm getting tired of this one, but still doing it!
25. Go to yoga 1x/week.  I've just recently started doing yoga and surprisingly I LOVE IT! I feel so good afterward and the breathing alone helps me get through the day a little calmer.  Although, this may be tough...it's expensive!  Changing this one to organizing my thousands of pix!  HELP someone PLEASE!!  This is just overwhelming to me...I have pix all over the world wide web, on disks, sticks, etc...
26. Really listen to my kids when they are talking to me.  So much of our days are running around going to and from places, dropping off, picking up.  I cherish the times I can sit down with any of the boys and "catch up".  I guess the goal would be to slow down and enjoy any conversations I can get with the boys.
27. Speaking of slowing down, how about stopping to smell the roses.  With this huge list, I'm going to be even busier than normal!  But, sometimes everything else can be put on hold...nothing is going to happen if the dishes are still in the sink or the floor doesn't get vacuumed right away.  I'm going to STOP, and appreciate what I have at least, once daily.
28. Make an appt with my hair stylist when I should, not once it becomes necessary!  I'm not even sure how often I'm supposed to go??  But I'm certain waiting 3-4 months is too long.  Going Thursday...only 5 weeks after my last appt!
29. Go shopping for me!  For most people, this probably isn't difficult, but I HATE shopping for myself and rarely do it.  Honestly, I need someone to help me with this...I've realized over the past year that I THINK I have style but I really don't.  Right now, my "style" consists of yoga pants and t-shirts and jeans on a good day.  So sad...wish Clinton and Stacy were still doing What Not To Wear!
30. Keep up my skin routine.  I was lucky enough to be treated to an amazing facial by my MIL over Christmas (Nancy, now I know why you always have such incredible skin!)  I came home with great products and would love to continue taking care of my skin.  I may be getting older, but I don't have to look it, right!?
31. Put my jewelry in the jewelry box that's sitting on top of my dresser!  Sounds silly, but that would also mean going through my jewelry and getting rid of the things I don't wear (like the necklace my middle school boyfriend gave me!)  I even have an earring holder that I made (thanks to Pinterest) that is hanging on the wall...empty!  1/2 way there...got most of it put away, but still a bunch thrown on top of my dresser.
32. Go through the abundance of boys clothing...donate, throw out, organize and LABEL tubs to make finding them easier!  I was really good at this when I had 1 kid...just saying.
33. Buy a bike.  One of the things on my "life" bucket list (not sure I can add it to this list) is to do a mini-triathalon.  I can swim, I can bike, but the running scared me in the past.  I think I have that down now.  Only problem is, my husband thought I should let my oldest son should get my mountain bike since he was big enough for it and needed a bike.  So, he stripped it down (grips, pedal straps, etc...) and now I have no bike.  I love to ride but I need a bike...
34. Take more pictures...with an actual camera, not my phone.  I'm not saying my phone hasn't taken some incredible pictures, but I have a really nice camera and it takes great pictures!  Also, videos...again, we took videos all the time with our first kid.  Where is that video camera anyway???  I take it out for recitals and such, but really need to do it more often and also figure out a way to actually watch them once we record something!
35. Do random acts of kindness!  I want my boys to see that kindness still exists and is important.  Plus, girls dig it!    
36. Use all the Groupons/Living Social deals I have spent money on...such good deals, unless you forget about them or let them expire...Curse you Groupon and Living Social!
37. Go through our bookshelves...get rid of books we don't use, need or want.  Put books on there that are helpful, special or help make it seem that we are a family of great readers!!
38. Re-do my bedroom.  You know how they say the Master bedroom should be a serene, calm getaway...mine is the opposite of that!  I hate my bedroom and I definitely do not enjoy going in there at the end of a long, stressful day.  I may need to call the professionals for some help with this one.
39. READ MORE BOOKS...I have never really enjoyed reading, mostly because whenever I start a book, by the time I pick it up again I've forgotten what I already read!  I end up reading the same chapters over and over!  I do appreciate a good book though, so feel free to comment on any good reads you've had lately!!  Started a new book to discuss with a couple of friends...
40. While I was at yoga last week, the instructor said something that I loved and made me really think.  She said something like this, "...look deep inside and smile at your soul of acceptance..."  I thought this was really beautiful.  Even if I don't finish the other 39 things I have listed here, this one I need to do!  Everyone should... work in progress!!  

Need some motivation...

The past couple weeks have just been really busy...c'est la vie!  My Mom called the other day and said she wished she could come and take the kids so I could sit with my feet up (darn plantar fascitis is not going away easily) and get some of the things done on my "40" list...I laughed...then realized that may be exactly what I need to get this list done.  Time by myself with no interruptions, no activities, no carpool, nada, nothing, zip...

HELLO...BACK TO REALITY!!  This is my life and I've got to figure out a way to get all these things done while also doing "life"...so I got my handy planner out (yes, I found it!) and started counting down those days again.  I have just over 200 days til that BIG day...that should be the motivation I need, right?!  I also stepped on the scale this morning and THAT number is also very motivating!!

So, I'm pushing that "re-start" or "get your butt in gear" button TODAY!  I also realized this week as we celebrated my husband's 39th birthday and my oldest son's 10th birthday (I'm actually finding that a little harder than I thought I would) that I'm so lucky to have a great husband, 3 pretty good kids, friends and family I can count on and so much more.  Even if I don't complete my entire list in the next 200 days, I've accomplished something pretty cool...

Just look at that handsome kid.  I made him (ok, not by myself) and he's a great kid!  I'm so proud of him and can take some of the credit for what an incredible little person he is. So, I will...take some credit and count my blessings for what they are!  That kid made me a Mommy, the hardest job in the world, and whether I accomplish my list of "40 things" or not, or look the way I want to look when I turn "40", or celebrate that big day with a huge party or trip with friends...I still get to be the Mom of 3 great boys!!  That should be all the motivation I need!

With that thought in my head all day, I'm going to lunch with friends and then heading to the nail salon for a pedicure!!  

I'm losing my mind...

So, already I'm falling behind keeping up with my Sunday posts...AND it's getting harder and harder to keep up with all this "do-good" stuff!  Thank goodness I started early and I still have time...

Today has been a particularly challenging day and I'm feeling like I'm losing the battle of being a "good" Mom...actually, I lost that battle awhile ago, now I'm losing the battle for "staying on top of important things" Mom.  I'm hoping my children are still too young to notice and I have hope for getting back up to "pretty good" Mom.  Today, my dear hubby realized (yes, he realized...not me) that our oldest has his end of the year concert for strings on the same day as my middle child is making his 1st Communion!!  Of all the weekends that these 2 events could happen, they have to be on the same day and at the same time!  Seriously!?!  But the real question is why did I not catch this??  Do I have a planner...no.  Do I have a calendar...yes, several.  Obviously, not working for me.  I bought a planner to keep my "List of 40 tasks" straight and scheduled, but I've misplaced it :/  I replaced my wall calendar with 2 white board calendars (so my hubby could see things planned 2 months ahead of time) but apparently, I'm forgetting to put things on there.  Ugh...
MUST GET ORGANIZED!!  No, correction...must get things in order and then find a way to stay on top of it all!  We're not even that busy as a family yet...what's going to happen when I have one child playing a sport, while the other is at a gymnastics meet and the other one is at a birthday party!?  I'm in trouble...

On the flip side (really need some positives right now!), I went through my clothes and am actually able to clothes my drawers now.  I found that I may have a problem though...I have 22 tank tops.  Is this normal??  And I couldn't get rid of any of them?  Also, there were only 2 white ones and the rest were completely different colors.  My name is Mary and I am a tank-aholic.  Admitting the problem is the 1st step...making room in my drawers for them all is the 2nd and that is done!

Went to the doctor this week to get my feet looked at...plantar fascitis is not fun.  I have it in both feet and am still in pain after getting shots in my heels and wearing a super cool boot to bed (see pix).  I go back tomorrow and kind of wish I had never gone  because it's not any better.  This is why I don't go to the doctor!  Also, thought I had a dentist appt. today, but I walked in and they said they were expecting me Thursday!  Yes, another notch in that belt of inadequacy!  So, I go back tomorrow for my feet (ouch) and then we'll try the dentist again on Thursday.  Can't wait!

I did keep my desk clean this week and got all our bills out on-time for this month... yay, me!  I also used a couple more gift cards...think I only have about 6 left.  Yay, me!  Signed up for my 1st 5k of the season...the Cincinnati Chocolate 5k!  Yum...will run for chocolate!  Can't think of a better reason to run...I'll be doing it with my 2 older sons so that should be a great morning.  Especially, if my feet continue to be an issue...OUCH!  I'm sure the chocolate will help though.  

I think that's about all I've done on my list...really not chipping away at any of the good ones.  Although, I've decided to change the yoga one (way too expensive and my trial month ends this week) and replace it with organizing all the pictures I have on several sights.  Time to go through and either print them, delete them or at least get them all in one spot.  

For now, I'm going to go and put on a tank top and look for my planner.  Then, the world will be good once again.  As for me...I'm a work-in-progress!!